Hero to Zero

This post is the outcome of certain analogies that I developed while I was lying in my bed after going through numerous slides on how to save the world!
Just a few days back, I was quite charged up: I got the placement after lot of struggle, people (genuine people) appreciated my efforts, I was quite energetic and ready to go! I tried a few things, but after that the pressure of subjects started. Quizzes, project reports, presentations, assignments and finally end-term exams.
While I was lying there, I felt like that scientist, who just discovered a new element, but when he reached his home, his wife asked, "Tarkari laye?" which of course he forgot!
This is a bad feeling. As we end our college, and become part of the new workforce, the chores of the daily life should not be such as to extract the creative juices and enthusiasm out of the soul.
Here I am waiting for few hours and few days to pass so that I can go home and have some fun, those useless exams awaits me in between. Somehow I am unable to understand the significance of the subjects of this term, especially because the subjects in the last term were extremely of my type. I loved most of them because many of them addressed individual. The discussions in the class were more towards the development of man rather than the technicalities of the organization.
I am feeling quite terrified that over a period of time, my life will also become like that of millions others: get up, go to office, fight the traffic, listen to what the boss is saying, keep mum because that is the right thing to do, be nice to the colleagues because none of them would be ready to listen the truth, scold some juniors because otherwise they won't be on their toes, fight the traffic, buy tarkari, reach home, drink tea, eat food, yell at someone and sleep! The circle goes on and on and on.
Where will those things go which I want to do? I have no answers to the question, and I am scared. Off to sleep. Good night.

Comments

Shivam said…
the fears u have are pretty genuine ones... But creative junta always manages to find some time and ways to utilize their creative juices!!! M sure u'll also be able to manage the same... :)
February 21, 2011 at 5:01 AM
Yash said…
Shivam: I couldn't find a way out from this place where the stakes were so low - there were none actually. And you are talking about ways where I would be able to utilize my damn juices?! I am so not convinced with your remark!
February 21, 2011 at 11:45 AM
Arpita Ray said…
http://main.makeuseoflimited.netdna-cdn.com/tech-fun/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/reallife.png

(Life in a nutshell)
February 21, 2011 at 2:09 PM
Maddy said…
YASHO BHAIYA,

This is what I feel - Life is one. Every phase has its existence defined and hence it exists. All the bigger forces are not in our hands. Its on us if we like them and make something out of them or not. What you are going through is also a phase. Like I said, what you make out of it is on you. It might die a death of some recognition by professors, comments on blogspot, likes on FB and other jazz or it might change you as a person and your thoughts as a perspective. I am seeing you from a bird's eye view since some time and I totally understand your disposition in this phase. What I am waiting for is an outcome! :)

To talk about your piece, I feel that your next phase is not all that bad too. What you write here is far from reality. It does not talk about the next phase - it talks about how you perceive it. I am sure things will be fine and merry.

In any case, I am with you - so don't worry at all! :)
February 21, 2011 at 5:12 PM
|M|O|H|I|T| said…
Chatur, fortunately life is not as bad as you think its going to be. Your present impression is because of 2 yrs of ur career plus what you heard from your friends and learnt theoriticaly over last 2 years. What you feel is true and real but if you are thinking of changing it to your way, forget it. You will never be able to do so. But if you think of bringing atleast some changes to it, you will be able to do that for sure. What I am saying is start from small and you will end up doing something big; start from big and you will end up doing nothing :)
February 21, 2011 at 10:49 PM
Yash said…
@Arpita Ray: you actually need to follow your bucket list more religiously. You are as skeptic as I am.
@Maddy: Yes, I too am waiting for an outcome. Though this was a product of a sudden outburst of bad emotions - frustration to be precise.
@Mohit: Yea, I quite agree with you. I would try to follow your last lines.
February 22, 2011 at 2:02 AM
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