3 Idiots

Here the 3 idiots are: Jiten (J), Kapil (K), and me.

Amdocs is a nice company. Please don’t start applying for it. My praise is never related to work. Its about the added benefits provided by the company. There is something called AMDOCS CLUB POINTS given to each employee of Amdocs. These are the points which though not cashable, can be spent in taking part in various workshops and classes being conducted within Amdocs. For instance, if a dance class is being organized for the employees by the Amdocs Club and the cost is say Rs. 1400/-, 1400 points from the Amdocs Club points will be deducted and the employee can join those classes without spending his pennies. If the employee is unable to spend the points, at the end of the financial year, some goodies are available which can be bought using the same points. This is to encourage the employees to take part in various other-than-work activities. However, the HR has failed pathetically in its endeavor to push the guys towards extra-curriculum because a small percentage of people spend their points in the activities. Majority wait for the end so as to get certain useful stuff out of the available lot.

This time, INOX and ADLABS coupons were available for those who couldn’t spend their allotted points. J and K also had their Amdocs points. They bought the coupons.

The INOX coupons were getting expired on 31^st March. J had coupons equivalent to 800 INOX rupees. On 29^th March we decided to go and spend them completely. All through the day no one checked for which all movies were being shown there, neither did anyone care to look at the timing of the movies. Around 7 PM, we started browsing through the internet to get the desired information which we didn’t get, so decided to go to INOX itself and finalize what was to be done.

We arrived at INOX around 8.15 PM and voraciously started searching a movie for which we could spend 3 hours. O MY GOD! Despite being free tickets, we couldn’t dare to watch any of the movies. ALOO CHAAT, STRAIGHT, EK were the movies being showed there at that time. Though the tickets didn’t cost us anything, our time is precious! TIME IS MONEY man!!

We agreed on booking the tickets in advance. The latest we could watch a movie was Wednesday, the 1^st April. It seemed fair enough to me. Fools watching the movie on the 1^st J.

We could also use the coupons to buy food and stuff within the theatre. However, since food couldn’t be bought in advance, we thought we could sell the coupons, to people who were coming to watch the movie on a Monday, which is illegal though. It was then that it clicked our sharp brains that it should have been a Sunday that we should have come and sold all our coupons which would have been done in no time at all. On a Monday, not many people are free to watch a movie. Job to be done, household to be managed and the list is endless.

Yet, we were determined not to let the coupons go waste. And we started selling them.

With the best of the tones that we could manage, and the best of our spoken English, we became salesmen. The same statements were repeated to everyone.

“Excuse me. Have you come to watch movie here?”, with the sweetest smile on the face.

“No! I have come here to eat food.” To hell with him. Is this a place to eat or to watch movies?

That didn’t deter us from going ahead.

“Excuse me. Have you come to watch movie here?”, again with the sweetest smile on the face.

“We have already watched it!” Bang! WE! They were potential buyers of 3-4 coupons. An opportunity missed.

“Excuse me. Have you come to watch movie here?”, with the sweetest smile on the face.

“Yes!” Wow, this is what a man is like. He has come to watch a movie which has almost no sense!

“That’s great. Would you like to buy the INOX coupons to watch the movie? We have them in excess and they are getting expired tomorrow. It can be used just like cash in purchasing of the tickets of your choice. What is great about it is you can watch any movie and at any time. You know, we have already watched all the movies being showed here. What’s even great, you can buy coupons of any amount, 50, 100, 200 up to 750. Would you like to buy?”

“But we have already bought the tickets.” Then go and kick your butt. Couldn’t you tell this before? Wasted the whole effort. Damn!

If you are in any misconception that we stopped there, you are absolutely wrong.

“Excuse me. Have you come to watch movie here?”, with the sweetest smile on the face.

“Yes.”

Learning from previous mistakes is my right-from-birth habit. “Have you bought the tickets?”

“No.” Yessss… this is THE man.

“That’s great. Would you like to buy the INOX coupons to watch the movie? We have them in excess and they are getting expired tomorrow. It can be used just like cash in purchasing of the tickets of your choice. What is great about it is you can watch any movie and at any time. You know, we have already watched all the movies being showed here. What’s even great, you can buy coupons of any amount, 50, 100, 200 up to 750. Would you like to buy?”

“Yes. Let me see which all movies are there.”

“Sure. But don’t buy the tickets from there. Get the coupons and give them to them.”

After inquiring about the movie: “Sorry dude, but they are not showing any movie which is worth 200 bucks.” So what? Is it my fault? Buy the coupons and get the hell out of here!! The damn INOX wale.

“Excuse me. Have you come to watch movie here?”, with the sweetest smile on the face.

“Yes.”

Learning from previous mistakes is my right-from-birth habit. “Have you bought the tickets?”

“No.” Yessss… this is THE man AGAIN.

“That’s great. Would you like to buy the INOX coupons to watch the movie? We have them in excess and they are getting expired tomorrow. It can be used just like cash in purchasing of the tickets of your choice. What is great about it is you can watch any movie and at any time. You know, we have already watched all the movies being showed here. What’s even great, you can buy coupons of any amount, 50, 100, 200 up to 750. Would you like to buy?”

“Yes. Let me see which all movies are there.”

“Sure. But don’t buy the tickets from there. Get the coupons and give them to them.”

After inquiring about the movie: “OK. I will buy the coupons. Give me coupons worth 250.”

What an awesome feeling that was! We had made a solid profit of Rs. 250/-. But it was way too less to be satisfied for. Our endeavor kept going. After tasting success, we were all the more motivated to sell the rest of the coupons.

We sold coupons worth 250 more. Thanks to people who had almost nothing to do.

We were selling like hot cakes. The two customers bought the coupons in quick succession. And what was greater, another customer was waiting to buy coupons of 250 more. But wait, why is this ticket-seller waving at me? Freak! He is telling me not to sell the coupons. Bloody hell! When we were struggling at selling, he didn’t have any troubles. Now that we are going guns, his loyalty towards the theatre woke up!

The damn guy told the guard there to see that we don’t sell the coupons within the theatre premises. However, he was very generous. He let us sell the coupons outside the compound. Amazing!! The funda after this decision of his is highly incomprehensible. What difference would it make if we sell them here or sell them there? Isn’t it acting like the Boss? If you tell that you are sick and take a sick-leave, its fine. However, if you tell that you don’t want to come to office yet want to take a sick-leave, he would not let you. Strange!!

So we went outside. We couldn’t sell any coupons in next 20-30 minutes. We thought that probably our market was not giving the potential customers a chance to even glance at us. People were coming on bikes and going straight to the Parking lot.

Its then that J clicked. He divided the coupons into 2 lots of 350 each, gave one to me and instructed me to go to the new market… PARKING where the opportunity was more. The rest J & K would try to sell.

I ran down towards the Parking, with the coupons in my hands and dreams in my eyes to sell the coupons and then to go to MG Road to have a lavish dinner, effectively free of cost.

“J is great” I thought, “What a visionary. None of us could see what he saw”.

As soon as I reached there, I saw a couple. I immediately approached them and asked the same question to them as well. However, they had also watched the movie and were leaving. “Hard luck!!” I thought, and that the idea isn’t flawed.

Another couple!! Wow. “This is a COUPLE DAY”, I bemused and unabashed accosted them and asked them to purchase my coupons. Again a NO. They were here for some other purpose.

I kept waiting for the prospective clients. It was around 10 minutes that a guard came to ask for my purpose of strolling in the parking lot and asked me to report to his manager, a Sardar ji. Sardar ji threatened me to get the heck out of the parking else he would take some action. Oops! I told him that I was waiting for a friend and that I would leave immediately and wait outside. That was the smartest answer I could fathom in front of him!!

Returning without any buck was not what I had thought of when I left for the parking lot. I was so ashamed of my abilities at selling things and here I am a prospective candidate for MBA?

Bingo! Even J & K couldn’t sell any coupon! Wow, no one can point a finger at me.

So, now we had coupons worth 700 bucks. We decided that we will purchase Wednesday tickets which will cost 420 (appropriate number for us!) and for the rest, would see if something could be done.

We went and bought the tickets for Wednesday for the movie, GULAAL. J then jumped in action and asked the ticket-seller to buy at least the remaining 250 bucks coupons to which he agreed. However, he gave us Rs. 200/- only. The dishonest crook!

We had Rs. 700/-plus 3 tickets.

K told later that he had asked the ticket-walla to buy the coupons worth Rs. 500/- in just Rs. 400/-. However, he didn’t agree, only to his loss!

We happily moved towards MG Road for the dinner feeling like the salesmen of the year!!