Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

One of my friends (let’s call him Mamashri) doesn’t believe in the self-help books. I, on the other hand have derived immense benefits from them. Mamashri claims that a book will never be able to tell about him as much as he knows about himself. My argument is that people don’t know even the basics by which I meanthat there are certain things which should be present in everyone, but people don’t realize that. Many self-help books assist us in pointing those things out and bringing them to our notice. From them we appreciate their importance. One of those things is listening to others.

I was in class XI when I first read a book called “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”. Though there were many concepts present in the book, I particularly liked the idea of giving a patient ear to others. The book told that half the problems between the two genders can be solved just by listening to each other patiently. I extended the concept to everyone. I have received innumerable compliments for this quality.

Lately I have found the stark difference between the levels of listening that I have and what many of my family members and friends possess.It is strange to see how people are desperate to blurt out what they have to say without paying any heed to what others have to convey or what they are speaking. I feel it is clear disregard of the person. So often I have come across situations when one person was talking about one thing when the other guy came up with an entirely different and unrelated topic of discussion. While one was talking about Gandhi that how grand his leadership was when the other came out with, “Remember, how great our Kerala trip was! The back-waters were just amazing.” This shows two things: one that you were not listening to what the other person was sayingat all; second that you don’t give any importance to what he had to share. Both the things indicate of disrespect towards him.

When I read the book, I tried to implement the learnings in my daily life. It was written in the book that when a female was speaking, one should listen to her carefully and NEVER cut her in between. That was a cardinal sin according to Mr. Gray, the author of the great book. I tried to incorporate that in my life but found that my sister almost always had something to speak which directly meant that I had to keep mum and give her a chance to speak. No exaggeration: I could barely talk for a few days when my younger sister, who too had read the book, came to my rescue. She asked others to let me also speak. Gradually I too learnt how to sneak out a few words here and there without cutting others.

I hope the message that I intend to share with others reach them. Listening is a virtue. It is like tit-for-tat. You listen, and you get listened. Else there would never be good conversation! Further, it increases your patience level.

An appeal from my side: try listening to others for a week. If it gets very difficult, return to your old ways, else continue with the new idea. I can very easily claim that there will be numerous praises waiting for you, and possibly you end up influencing other as well.

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